Faith without Fear

I have been absent from my posting, much to Lacey's dismay, and am hopefully back now that football season is almost over. Courtney and I discussed this morning how we have been lacking in our blogging, but as I came back to it tonight it made me very sad to see a "1" by the month of October. I began to think about the past month and all that it held and realized I had much to blog about but no time to do it.

Here is a brief re-cap of the last month:

Work, work, and more work... okay that is just par for the course these days, but other than work... I stayed with Emily and the Guthries her last weekend in Nashville before moving to ATL. It was precious time with she and her family, I love Franklin and the Guthries. We went to a piano bar Friday night that I will gladly go back to again and then on Saturday we went to a most depressing game that need not be discussed. Post Nashville I had my mouth surgery, which BTW (by the way), they don't tell you has a FOREVER long recovery. Still no biting for another three weeks, but then hopefully all will be well. The lisp will also hopefully fully disappear then. If you haven't had the pleasure of hearing my lovely speech, then catch me late at night, sure to bring a good laugh. Immediately following surgery, Katherine and I scooted up to NYC to visit the host of friends we have there, and to help George and Brit wish the the city farewell. We half-surprised B and were able to spend their last weekend in New York with them. We were also able to see Kate and Vaughan and spend some much needed time catching up on life. It was a great end to a crummy week! From there, I spent my first weekend in Auburn with nothing to do; I thought it was time to step up to the plate and act like a grown adult/citizen of Auburn. I spent most of the day at work on Friday wondering what in the heck I was going to do. Good news... Max was plundering the same thing, so, we spent a great evening at 8th and Rail. Followed by a completely down day around the house on Saturday, and a bonfire with the Corner House girls after their return from Dothan. I am able to say with much confidence it was one of the highlights of my time back in AU thus far. I wrapped up the month with another road trip to Oxford. It was great to see Bubba, Stephen and Kathleen and catch up with friends. I dipped out of the game early to eat and shop. Lauren, KC, Cathryn and I spent a little girl time cruising around Oxford. Note: If you want a fountain drink in that town you have to stop at multiple gas stations. Ridiculous. Matthew and I rode down with a future Auburn/ MLB player. Slade this shout out is for you in the hopes you are famous. Loved Oxford and yet again another disappointing game that need not be discussed. In conclusion, if you had asked any one of my friends my thoughts on the month of October, they would have told you it was a sore subject of mine. I was not looking forward to it, for a number of reasons, but as always the Lord came through and I was immensely blessed with time seeing friends and my travels. I do love the fall!

As for my post this evening, I have been desperately trying to grasp the concept of faith. One of the 8 definitions of faith on dictionary.com is: faith - the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved.
The scriptures and promises I have clung to recently can be found in the book of Philippians, specifically the fourth chapter. It is here that I have been pondering the Lord's call to be faithful.

"4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Per the definition, we are faithful by trusting the Lord through His promises in scripture. In the fourth chapter of Philippians, Paul calls us to do that in a number of ways.

1. Rejoicing: Paul begins the passage asking us to Rejoice! I will be the first to tell you that when things don't go my way or I begin to doubt the Lord's plan for my life, it is in this time that I find much difficultly in rejoicing. The heart ache of this world gives me little reason to rejoice, but here we are called to do it ALWAYS. It is in these times, that I have come to realize He doesn't ask me to do it alone, He simply asks that I come to Him seeking the desire to rejoice, for through His power and grace I am able.

2. Gentleness: I am not a naturally gentle person. I have always wanted to be that person that everyone always says, upon hearing her name, "She is so sweet." Yup, that is not me, however, I know that this is something He is calling me to be, a more gentle and kind person. One of these days...

3. Do not be anxious about anything...: Bahahahahaha. I am a naturally anxious person. I am a worrier, and always have been. I don't like risks and would rather not get close to the side of a cliff to see the pretty terrain. However, this is the meat of being faithful, letting go. I do not understand how to have faith without fear. I want to freely and openly allow the Lord to work and move in my life, yet so many times I am gripped by the fear of the unknown.

4. BUT, in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God.: It is in the BUT that we are told how to let go! Not just in what we choose to give up, but in everything we are to come before the Lord. For me, there is one more hard part, like rejoicing, we are to be thankful. I question the Lord on this point daily. "You want me to be thankful this precious baby is sick, you want me to be thankful that Doodah died, you want me to be thankful that I am single, you want me to be thankful... the list goes on and He says YES to them all, so I resort to mumbling my thanksgiving. One day I hope to understand this part enough to be shouting my thanksgiving.... until then it will be a whispered and sometimes heart wrenching thanks! I will come before Him. He reminds me, we all have to start some where.

5. Peace: "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." The end result is His peace. His glorious peace. Why would I not want to experience all that He has to offer? Yet so often I reject Him in the face spouting my ways are better, but I know they are not. On the off chance I follow His commands, I am always met square in the face with more than I could have possibly dreamed or imagined.

One day I will hang on the side of the cliff, instead of cowering back. I am working at leaving the fear out of the faith. If you have read my rambling to the end, thank you for joining me.

Also, I have sweet friends whose child is in the Special Care Unit at Children's. Georgia Elizabeth's (2 years-old) appendix ruptured and she has a small bowel obstruction... she is septic and until the infection decreases, they can not remove her appendix.

Here are a few specific prayer requests from her mother's blog: 3 specific prayer requests so that she can go to the OR asap- 1. Her white blood count would decrease enough 2. her urine output would increase and 3. her hydration status would improve. Also pay for her pain relief. She is on morphine every 2 hours without much relief or ability to be still.