Doodah

I am not a big anniversary person, but this day came much faster than I expected. I have lived one whole year without my precious Doodah. I decided instead of rambling through memories and stories, I would post what my Mom said at her funeral. I still am amazed at how well she did in speaking that day. So, here it is for those who missed it, or want to hear it a second time. God is so good and I was so blessed to have her for as long as I did!

MOM:
First, on behalf of my sister and I and all of our family, what an honor you have given my mother by being here today. Doodah has gone to funerals like it was her job, for as long as I can remember. She told us more than once, “Well if you don’t go to theirs – no one will come to yours.” We always thought that was hilarious, because those people couldn’t be here anyway, for obvious reasons! But --- she is loving this moment, her family, her friends, her church – A tent!! She is smiling so big right now – WOW!! Thank you for honoring her and our family in this way!

I told Mom over two years ago, in one of those moments when we would discuss this day, that for all that she has done and been to Nancy and I and our families that the least that I could do is to speak about Mom when this amazing day came. I have rethought that bold statement several times lately (as has Nancy and countless others who are worried about me) But here I am …

I know that there is not a whole lot I could say about my mother that all of you don’t already know and trying to encapsulate mom into a five-minute talk seems rather trivial. I sat down and listed all the words that describe my mom, and the paper was filled with words like selfless, gentle, strong, patient, smart, classy, and the list could go on and on, but the one word that makes my mom so special is that she was RELATIONAL. I know that sounds like a word out of a self help book, but it truly made Mother, Doodah, Dot, Dorothy Gail – whatever YOU called her – who she was!! She loved to be RELATED to people, events, places, and most of all her family. She really got what Jesus has tried to teach all of us, that relationships mean love, if you have relationships in your life you don’t have to be wealthy in a material sense, you have wealth beyond words.

Her childhood relationships have carried her through her hardest times in her life; some of you might call these memories. Mother saw them as “life giving moments!! She loved being related to her mom and dad, her brother and sister, her aunts, uncle and mostly her Grandmother. These relations molded her into the gentle, but strong person she was she knew she was loved, adored and special! Those relationships have been her model for all of her other relationships in her life and she never diminished their importance to her.

She loved being related to East Lake Methodist Church and to Woodlawn High school, to their family’s closest friends as she was growing up. Those friends have been the framework that carried her through her life and now, two of those people have helped Nancy and I care for Mother in these last few weeks and countless childhood friends have called regularly to lift her spirits and share their memories together. Those were so life giving to her!

Mother loved to run into those “Old friends” and more than once embarrassed us by accosting someone that she has known, sure that they would want to be enlightened on who she was and how they know each other. While we were ducking behind a display rack, Mother was regaling who she was, who they were and how they totally knew each other! I am sure that even if the person could never place who mother was or where they knew each other from her energy and enthusiasm and the twinkle in her eyes made them want to affirm that RELATIONSHIP anyway. Which only fanned the flame of doing that again the next time she thought she recognized someone!

She loved being related to friends and she called anyone she met a FRIEND, and they quickly called “Doodah” their friend. That is why you all are here – once you met Doodah you were never just “knew who she was,” you felt drawn to spend time with her! She just made you feel great and she cared about you and your life, she wanted to be a part of you!! And you were then on the “possible accosting” list from that moment on! She would know and remember you forever no matter how brief your encounter! That is why mother has so many friends; every relationship had meaning to her and made her life so rich!

Finally, Mother loved being related to her family. Her son-in-laws were very special to her; I think there were definitely times when Nancy and I felt we were definitely second fiddle to them. They could do no wrong in her eyes and she was really quick to say how much she loved them and how wonderful they were; more than once we have suggested that maybe she should just like live with one of them and leave us out! If she thought they were so great, and in the end she did just that! They loved and cared for mother as much as we did!

She loved being related to her grandchildren. We spent some time talking last night and Trey said; “You know it is hard to put into words what made Doodah so different. She wasn’t a grandmother, or a granny, or a maw maw… she was a Doodah. She took them on trips, she played cards and rummy cubes all night if they wanted – and I mean ALL NIGHT. She taught them early how to make her “Bourbon and Waters,” she let them say an occasional “bad word” without comment, and she certainly wasn’t afraid to say a few herself!! These things weren’t necessarily good for the children, but they were good for her relationship with them. She broke down the walls of an old lady to her grandchildren; they were allowed to be friends because she empowered them to do this! She let them talk about anything they wanted and there wasn’t a question they couldn’t ask her! She taught them the manners and graces that get you through life as an exceptional person. They have been blessed beyond measure by their relationship with her and that is certainly what makes all of this so hard, but it is better to have loved her so much for this little while than to never have had that relationship at all!

Finally, she loved her girls. Nancy and I are the luckiest daughters on the face of this earth! To be blessed to grow up with a mom like her surpasses any thing I can say, she molded and guided us with a gift very few people have. We don’t know of a stronger woman with a gentler spirit. She carried herself through hurts, disappointments, and painful times with the grace, spirit and strength that only God can give. And she expects us to do that now!! She was always ready to laugh and thought everything we said was hilarious! She allowed us to be who ever we wanted to be. They say that to die of a long illness does allow you time to share with your loved ones what they mean to you, we didn’t need this illness to make that happen, we have done it forever. We are our own mutual admiration society. Our “girl’s nights and girl’s trips” have given us laughter and memories to carry us forever. She made sure that we knew how important relationships are and she made sure we knew ours with her and she with us was her most important. We often talked about how lucky we are to have each other and our relationship. We longed for our times together and sought them often! Even in these last days we treasured our chats and time and our laughter gave us strength for another day! And she is laughing and smiling even now!

In closing, our vision of mom right now is that she is having the time of her life! She doesn’t have to accost anyone, they have seen her coming and they have gone out to meet her! She hasn’t had to remind anyone who she is or how they are related! Our sadness is that we are not getting to see how much fun she is having but it makes us smile just thinking about it!!!

JJ, Janet, Sissy, Jaunita... Mom

Tonight at bible study, we decided to have a low key hang out... it was just what we all needed in the middle of this crazy week. As part of our hang out time, we all shared our highs and lows of the week. My high was my MOM!!!

My Mom is really one of my best friends, and I feel so blessed to be able to say that truthfully. There is really no one else I would rather talk to or share my joys and sorrows. She is amazing! Tonight, I was particularly struck with how much I have enjoyed talking to her recently. It has been so refreshing to laugh, cry, vent, and chat about all that life has brought to our family and our lives lately.

My Mom, you would say, is the glue of the family. She keeps us all sane, and sometimes I wonder how she juggles it all. We are a pretty tough bunch. She makes life so exciting and never ceases to show my brothers and I all that the Lord has to offer us. Here are some of my favorite things about my mom:

- Her sense of humor: It is magnanimous! People are naturally drawn to my mom and her lifegiving personality!
- Her genuine love of the Lord: My mom's love of the Lord is real and genuine. I am so thankful that she shared Jesus with my brothers and me, and have raised our family with Christ at the center.
- Her selflessness: For the past few years, my mom's main role has been caregiver, on top of mom, wife, sister, business partner, friend, daughter, etc. She has more than risen to the occasion and has done it joyfully! However, she has always possessed this quality. She continually gives of herself, expecting nothing in return. You will never find a harder worker than my mom.
- Her creativity: She is organized and creative! Very few people work both sides of the brain, but Mom does. She is so talented! I love to brag on her and her work.
- Her "mom" skills: She has three completely different children and has the ability to meet each of us right where we need to be met. We are so blessed that she doesn't have the same expectations for us or need for us to be something we are not. She fosters our strengths and continues to sharpen our weaknesses. She is our biggest fan!
- She shared Doodah with me... enough said.

As I was writing these attributes of my mom, I began to see a pattern, she possesses so many of the same characteristics of Christ! How blessed I am! I only hope I can have half her strength, half her courage, and half her wisdom one day. I dream to be a mom and wife that she has been and continues to be. I am so thankful for you Mom... I LOVE YOU!

The Details

This is the first Saturday in two weeks I haven't worked and I am enjoying every minute of it. I slept in, have watched lots of Fox News and College GameDay, spent some time in the word and listening to sermons... overall a pretty successful morning. I decided to listen to a couple of sermons (or parts) that are a part of a series I had heard earlier in the summer. The pastor walked through the book of Ruth and was able in a magnificent way to bring the story alive and provide some very applicable points. I have to take these sermons in parts because they are packed full of great information. Well, today I was really struck by several points as he walked through the first part of Ruth chapter 2. The one I want to share with you is about "The Details."

As an event planner, I am only as successful as the many special details I create at an event. My Mom is the same way. She truly believes that her business is successful because of the details they attend to and create. She taught me long ago that the big picture any one can do, but it is the details that complete a finished product and a lasting impression. The details are important.

In chapter 2, Ruth has chosen to follow her mother-in-law, Naomi, of her deceased husband, back to the land of their people. The start of chapter 2 they have arrived in Bethlehem and Ruth is wanting to find work.

"And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, "Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor." Naomi said to her, "Go ahead, my daughter." 3 So she went out and began to glean in the fields behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelech."

Now for those who are not familiar with the story Elimelech is Naomi's deceased husband and was Ruth's father-in-law. The passage reads, "As it turned out," she was picking grain in the field of one of her distant relatives. It sounds lucky or by chance, but really the Lord found purpose in the details. He placed her in Boaz's field. All this rambling to say, the Lord is involved in the intricate details of our lives. I found that so comforting this morning. He is very aware of the big picture but also about the little things. We don't have to "Sweat the small stuff," He does it for us. Just as the details of an event are important, so are the details of our lives. The Lord cares, and is involved in them all.

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD." Psalm 139:1-4

Sometimes I Miss Montgomery

Sometimes I miss Montgomery! I know, many of you are thinking, "what?" It may not be the coolest town in the world, but I do believe it will always be one of my fondest memories. I became an official citizen of Montgomery in July 2007. I accepted a job and moved into my first apartment, by myself! Once good ole Dad had the alarm system up and running, I was a happy camper. I do believe there was a crack house two streets over; I don't lie. Just right around the corner from the Governor's Mansion! Okay, so this post is intended to talk about the things I loved about my time in Montgomery, not the bad stuff. I haven't had any listings yet on the blog, so here is my first:

Reasons why I LOVED Montgomery: (In no particular order...)

1. 302 Cloverdale Road: From the beginning, I adored my little apartment. It was one bedroom and one bath with an entry hall, a tiny little kitchen, and a living room with 14 ft ceilings. My mail came through a slot in my door and was waiting on my foyer floor when I arrived home from work. It was the perfect first dwelling as an adult.

2. Corsino's Italian Restaurant: This hole in the wall is conveniently placed 3 minutes from my house and 30 seconds from work. I ate there at least once a week, and when I called, it took about 15 seconds for the owner to say, "To-go, and with extra blue cheese crumbles." It was glorious!

3. Location of work: From my curb to the Governor's Mansion drive was approximately 2 minutes. The longest part of my drive was waiting for the gate to open at the mansion. No traffic!

4. Hal and Jessica Taylor: These are some of the most amazing people in the entire world! They would feed me, house me when I didn't want to be alone, and take me in as if I was their own. I arrived in Montgomery knowing of them and left with two new best friends! They remain a constant in my life. I think the Lord might have taken me to Montgomery, just to give me the guidance of these faithful people.

5. GBR: I loved working for the Governor! I was able to do some really fun things and learn a lot in the process. Several lessons were not easy, but pertinent to my future and, now looking back, helping to refine my character and strengthen my heart. It was a great first job!

6. Painted Pink: I am a sucker for a new Michael Starr every now and then. I do believe they have the best selection of any store I have been in, and their dress collection is amazing!

7. La Zona Rosa: My personal opinion is that Auburn is lacking in a really good Mexican restaurant. Montgomery is not! La Zona Rosa is a fabulous Mexican establishment, with a most delicious Chimichanga and margarita!

8. Shakespeare Festival Park: When I first moved to Montgomery and didn't really know anyone, I would run after work at the Shakespeare Festival. I loved these quiet late afternoons running through this beautiful landscape.

9. Alone Time: I learned how to successfully be alone; not in a creepy way! I loved to climb in my big chair, with a book, a good sermon or a good Moxi'd T.V. show. There were many nights I went to bed so content with the time I had spent alone. It was definitely time I learned to appreciate.
10. Biscuits Baseball: There is really no entertainment in Montgomery, however, there are the Biscuits! This minor league baseball team is actually very entertaining to watch, and who doesn't love a ballpark frank! yum!

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

I love music. I cannot carry a tune, but I still love to sing and wish I had a voice. I believe that those who can sing have a most precious form of worshipping our God. Music is just good for my soul. I can listen to just about anything, but I tend to listen to a lot of country and contemporary Christian. Lately my two favorite songs are shockingly from those genres; "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence and "The Only Thing" by Ronnie Freeman.

Both songs are so applicable to my life. I feel as though relating songs to your life is really cheesy, but so is blogging so here goes. "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence is just one of those feel good songs. I love the beat and my favorite line is, "Never stop to think 'What's in it for me?' or 'It's way to far.' They just show on up with their big ol' hearts. You find out who your friends are." Daily I am amazed by the Lord's greatness, but lately I have seen His majesty through my friends. My friends are like no other, I feel as though sometimes they can move mountains with their words. They each have a unique way loving me. I am so blessed for the many ways they encourage me. They are all unique and bring a special perspective to the table; they give me such joy. My friends speak truth to my heart and sanity to my mind. They are life giving and allow me to flourish in my strengths. I have been writing recently about the strengths of my friends and how they enrich my life. I took several words to describe the "bests" in my life: they are my examples, they are my protectors, they are my biggest fans and cheerleaders, they are sweet and have such gentle spirits, they are my heros, and my sanity. They are amazing!

My other favorite song to sing along to right now is Ronnie Freeman's, "The Only Thing." My favorite verse reads:

If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come

I think I love this verse for its reality. I am quick to recognize my outward sin. I repent quickly for lies, harsh words, things that are evident to those around me, but so slow to recognize the deep sin of my heart. I confess I am a fearful and prideful human being, and one rarely fearful of the one thing I should be, the Lord. My heart is often filled with ugly sin and I am repeatedly brought to tears as Satan uses my fear to break me. I argued, begged and pridefully told the Lord how my plan was better. It has only been in the recent weeks how I have seen His grace squash my fears, and I have learned to trust in Him alone. I refused to trust Jesus and feared until I was literally sick. Now I see the greatness of trusting in his sovereignty. His plan is so much better, it's amazing how far I have come. It is true, "The only thing that's good in me is Jesus."

What is Normal?

What is normal? I have been away from my blog for over a week now and have been dying to come back, but my thoughts have prevented me from one clear post. So, I decided to take the plunge and hopefully all that is up in my crazy head will come out in blog posts over the next few days.

The past two weeks I have begged the Lord to make my life "normal." Well needless to say I think I hear him laughing at me. My God has a huge sense of humor and we love to laugh. So, as I beg him to make my life normal he is smiling. Well, today in my usual daily ritual of blog stalking, I started with Katherine Wolf's Mom's Blog. IT IS AMAZING!!! I usually cry every time I read it, but I leave reading her blog remembering how great the Lord is to me. Today her post was titled "The New Normal." I think she wrote it just for me. (Side note: She and her family are experiencing extreme pain; I hope I never have to experience, I can only imagine their normal will never be the same.) One of my favorite parts was Mrs. Arnold quoting, "Normal is just a setting on your dryer!" How completely perfect! God did not intend for us to be normal or ordinary or live comfortable lives. He called us to throw all that aside, for the cross was not "normal." Why would I want my life to be normal? Jesus led an extraordinary life, not a normal life.

Well, I did the most not normal thing this weekend! I went to Chicago! I bought my plane ticket Thursday morning and flew out Friday night. It was a fun filled weekend in the Windy City with Mary Kneeland and Lauren. This past weekend was also the Air and Water Show in Chicago. 

Explanation: Military and recreation aircraft are constantly flying over the city and the great lake. If you have never had the pleasure of being in Chicago during this time, you are missing out. During several meals I thought an F-16 was literally coming through the front door and while walking the streets I thought we should probably duck for missiles. It was unreal. Despite the war zone, we had several amazing meals, walked miles through the city, decorated birthday cakes, hit up some amazing sales, and spent great time laughing and enjoying a beautiful weekend. I could definitely live there in the summer, but NOT in the winter. Thank you Mary and LaLa for having me, I can't wait to go back!

So my life may not be normal, but as God has proven time and again, my life is pretty great! I am not suffering from massive brain damage (as is Katherine Wolf), I am not sitting in a chemo chair every week like my precious grandfather does, and I do not go to bed hungry at night like 1/8 of the children in the United States. I am abundantly blessed, I am a sinner saved by grace.

"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst."

1 Timothy 1:14-15

Forever Cardinal and Straw

As a resident of Auburn, Alabama my life is changing dramatically next week. Recruitment begins. My usually quiet pedicure establishment was overrun by girls in Nike running shorts and t-shirts adorned with Greek letters, this was the first sign of things to come. I was secretly sad as I was sitting there watching these girls and realizing my time had passed, but as soon as that thought hit me, I remembered the realities of rush and was not so sad. Someone might think why is Alley writing about this, however, I spent, if my count of pre-rush is correct, 37 days of my life in recruitment.

My freshman year I was a rushee, or a potential new member as they are called now. I was ignorant, naive, and blindly stupid. I ran through rush like it was one big party. Little did I know what happened on the other side. A year later, I was given the privilege to grace the other side. I have never been more tired, more disappointed in the human race or happier to be in one place for over a week with my best friends.

Some of my favorite memories of rush were bonding with Marye Beasley. I swear to this day she wished she had been a Chi O. ☺ Beas I hope you read this. Coming through the door at Chi O to see Avery’s sweet face and knowing that she was the reason I wanted to be a Chi O. On the other side, I loved skit day! I loved the summer before rush my senior year and getting ready with Laura and Katherine. I think we were pretty much obsessed. I loved getting the opportunity to speak on Pref Day and tell three of my best friends how much I loved them! The highlight of my days in rush was praying with our board during recruitment. I know it can be a most painful process on both sides of the field, but the Lord can use it all. We only hoped that the decisions we made were accurate in judgment and that the Lord’s will would prevail. So now that this is getting cheesy, I am going to wrap up.

I am not hiding it anymore. I am sad I won’t be participating in recruitment. I know Laura Parsons feels the same way, because she told me today. No more IWT’s, or lost voices, or late niters hanging a canoe from the ceiling. I will resign myself to g-chatting with Laura, Emily, and Katherine (my still obsessed friends- yes I called you out too) about how rush is going and the rumors we are hearing. I guess if I could do it again, I do it just the same, and I would make sure Mary Kneeland Metcalf was voted rush chair.